TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
