Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
