and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
