I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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