Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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