i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize