i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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