she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
why is half of my head shaved?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
