Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
