its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize