Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
