i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize