I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize