belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
