My nipple is on Facebook.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
