Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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