Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
