I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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