dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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