I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
