The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
