so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
this is an emotional support booty call
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
