god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We need to get me chipped asap
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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