I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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