Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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