Yo dont text me then not text me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
