Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize