margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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