went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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