how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
