I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
