I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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