1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
