I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think i got beer on your cat.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
