belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
