smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
