Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
