Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
