I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
