Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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