I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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