the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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