Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You peed on a flamingo?!?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
