So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
