She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
