Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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