Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
