It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
bring money and cleavage
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
