i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
