I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
