My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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