The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
