yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
