I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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