Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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