I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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