And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
